1 step forward and 2 steps back :( 2/15

Today, I went into the PLC feeling excited to work with Tangela and hoping that she had her spirits high! The econ EOCT would be in a few weeks and we really needed to get working. Sadly, when I walked in Tangela was so tired she could not keep her eyes open. She said that work was really a burden because she was so tired when she got to school she couldn't focus. She said that the transportation situation was not any better, and that her grandfather had died over the weekend. I talked with her for a few minutes about this, but thought getting her mind off it would be good. So we started doing online flashcards and it was like pulling teeth! She kept laying her head down and said she couldn't do anymore. She said she was sooooo tired and needed coffee. Mr. Piazza walked over and offered her some kind and encouraging words. He gave her an apple he had brought to school and said that she could eat it and it would help her feel energized! She ate that and we got through a few more flashcards. She then said she wanted to go buy a coke and then she would be energized. So we walked to get a coke, but the machine was empty. I said we should take a few laps around the hall to wake her up and I had her do funny things like arm circles, and leg lifts and at the end flap her arms like a bird. :) She was laughing and seemed more awake so we went into the class and did some more flashcards. She was doing well and was reciting the definitions to many words that I did not even know. All was going well until the class moved to the center of the room for advisement. Mr. Piazza was really excited for what they were doing and started off the advisement by acting like a robot and did not stop until someone asked him if he was a robot. He said that yes and he asked why they were all laughing because many people act like that when their friends are all doing something they follow suit, like a robot. Next, he had some questions he asked and he wanted the class to be able to get up and move around. If you answered no to a question you should go to the left, maybe in the middle, and yes on the right. Only about 4 people initially followed his instructions. A few more stragglers began moving and Tangela never moved. This broke my heart. Mr. Piazza was trying so hard to have the class move around from the computers they are confined to all day and many were refusing this opportunity. Tangela walked back to where I was sitting after and said the assignment was stupid. I asked her why she did not move and said that when I teach one day I hope my students don't act like that because I would be upset! She mumbled a few things like "that's stupid" and "oh well". She shut down on me and I had no idea why. I think I may have embarrassed her, which was not my intention at all. I left my happy place today feeling a little less than happy... :(

Tutoring at the PLC minus the tutoring part...2/8

Today was an interesting day at the PLC. I walked in and was a few minutes late because parking was full in the lots next to the school. When I finally did walk into Mr. Piazza's class (keep in mind I was only about 3-4 minutes later than normal) Tangela turned around and said "Well, I guess you did decide to show up" and then turned back to her computer screen. I walked over and sat down next to her and said that if I was ever not going to be there I would text her so that she would be aware. This calmed her down and I asked her how she was doing and sadly she said that she was not doing well. She had gotten word that her grandfather was feeling very ill and was going to have to be put in hospice while he basically waited to die. She said they offered medications and had ideas to help "his condition" (she was not specific as to what this was) but that he refused them and said he was ready to die. He was tired and had lived long enough. I could tell this attitude really upset Tangela, but she said it didn't bother her too much. She then told me she was really tired and had started a job to make some money. She was working at a daycare on the other side of town from the school and from her home, and she does not have a car. She said that this has been very frustrating because if she takes a bus she will possibly be late, since the bus is not always on schedule. Her other option is having her brother or sister drive her, but this is bothersome to them since she needs to be at work at 7 and then they must pick her back up and have her to the PLC by 10. She said she offered and has been paying them gas money out of her small paycheck. Her siblings have not been being very reliable because a few times that she has woken them up to take her to work they say they have no gas when Tangela has given them gas money to last for a week and they have used up the gas gong to other places of their choosing. This just broke my HEART. I have never in my life even imagined going through a situation like this. I have had a car of my own since I was 15 (while it was old and used it worked). My parents decided and were able to pay for every necessity for me as long as I made A's and B's and stayed out of trouble with the school and the police. I did have a job and worked a few days a week for extras I wanted to buy. I wanted to break down and cry when Tangela told me all of this. I, like her, felt helpless in the situation. I talked to her about trying to catch one time slot earlier on the bus, and while she would have to get up earlier, she would not have to worry about being late. We also discussed her giving her siblings money only at the gas station so she can physically watch them put it in their car to make sure the money all together is not going to something else. She then said something that I will not soon forget, and it went something like this, "You know, Hannah, sometimes I just want to quit, quit school, quit my job, just lay around my apartment all day and do nothing, but I'm not going to do that. I have to keep telling myself that I'm going to do this. I will graduate and I will not quit. Will you be at my graduation Hannah?" Through misty eyes, I told her that of course I would be there and I was proud of her. We squeezed in about 15 minutes of flashcards online for her Economics class and hugged and I left for the day. What a day so crucial in developing my mind as a future teacher. I will be compassionate and loving to my students, because that's what they deserve. I got into my car today and was a little worried because we did not do much Econ, but this was the first time all year that I had asked Tangela if everything was okay and she said no. It was an amazing day at my happy place and I left feeling hopeful for Tangela and her situation.